Grace

God is more loving and shows me more grace than I deserve. I just am being hit by that this week a lot. God is so good to me, even though I continue to live my life however I please. Thanks for being more than I ever earned God.

Opportunities

Hi Lord. Yesterday was an awesome day. I went to South Gate Baptist Church and really loved it. I have a great opportunity to get plugged into their youth ministry program there as a leader, so just keep me focused on you in the days ahead, and God please help me be a staple in the lives of the kids in the group as I start to get to know them in the days ahead. Let me speak your truth and be a beacon of light in their lives. Continue to speak to me in the days ahead, because I need to grow too. I just want to thank you again before I go for surrounding me with such great people here at Cedarville University. I love you God. Thank you for giving me such great opportunities and great hope.

Finding A Church

Well lord, today I started to look for a local church to attend while I'm at Cedarville. I think a found a good church called South Gate Baptist Church in Springfield. Please help me find a church that accurately speaks the word, and has a good youth pastor I can learn from so I can get good experience for my own future as a youth minister. If it is not the church for me please open my eyes to see that.

talk to you later,
Mike Herrera

Move In

Well, I'm all moved in here at Cedarville. Everything is going pretty sweet so far god. I got to know some cool people at this freshman party on campus last night. It seems like everyone is pretty cool here. Just help me stay focused on you in school. With all the new people here for me to meet, all the activities, and sports to do when I'm here it can get easy to be distracted from why I'm here. (to serve you) Just shift my focus back to you lord. Remind me why you've brought me here to live for you and hopefully get more people to do that too. Well I'm gonna get going. talk to you later god.

Mike

more jounal entries to come

I know i haven't done this lately, but I intend to write in my journal more when I go to Cedarville next week. I have been told by a few people that they want me to start doing this blog again so I will pick it up when I go back to school next weekend.

Lord I don't have much time so I'll make this post short. I had a really good day today. Even though the weather was less than perfect, I got a muscle knot in my hamstring, and I got scheduled to work on a day I requested off for a youth conference it was awesome. For some reason none of it really bothered me that much. I think it is mainly because I felt close to you today. I appreciate that lord. It felt like you were with me more. I struggled less with sins and I even found myself applying what I've been learning from the bible more often. Lord help me keep up your good work to help others.

rededicating my life

Lord, I'm sorry for a lot of things. I am sorry for staying away from you for so long and I am sorry that I sin and fall short of the expectations you set for me. One thing I am not sorry about, though, is that I accept your love and grace. I am so thankful that you accept me in my broken existence. Lord I'm so happy that you don't give up on me even when I give up on you. You keep pulling me in and whispering in my ear that it will be OK. You have carried me through the hardest times in my life and caught me when I've fallen. You took the bullet so that I don't have to feel the pain of my enemy, and for all this I can only say thank you. I need to rededicate my life to you, because lately I have been doing things that I am ashamed about. I have lusted, lied, cheated, been disrespectful, I have used your name in vain, and it's about time I wake up and realize that this is not my purpose. I have been depressed so much lately, because I struggle with sin. Instead of being depressed I should give thanks for the forgiveness you give and spread that forgiveness as if everyday were my last day. Lord I know where I am headed when I die, but sadly I don't know where my friends have gone or are going. Lets do something about that, NOW!

Give me courage to show my faith

Lord today I helped at the Junior High youth group. We talked about Peter and John's extreme faith when they healed the lame man. When I was talking to people about it I realized how strong my faith is. I think I could stand improvement when it comes to sharing the word. Peter and Paul both went out and talked about how the lord helped them heal that man even though the Romans told them not to. They didn't let anyone get in the way of their christian duty. I don't know why I don't share my faith more with others. I tend to hog it to myself. Maybe I just am not in the right mindset at school. I look around the halls and see all of these people who need to hear that you love them and what you have done for them, but I don't do anything about it. Most weeks at JV (junior high youth group) I challenge the kids to share the gospel with one person, but maybe I should challenge myself in the same way. So lord use me. I want you to help me find someone at school who is desperately in need of a relationship with you and let me be the bridge between you, or at least the one who points them in the right direction. I suppose I couldn't really be the bridge since Jesus is the way to get to you, but you know what I mean. Help me tell someone the good news. Also lord I would like to lift up a praise to you. I'm so thankful that you've been speaking to me lately. I have struggled less with temptations for the last couple weeks, and I know that it is thanks to you.

I'm a humbled man,
I have sinful ways,
You give me life,
For this I praise.
Amen

(just trying a new sign off. I kinda like it :-D)

patience

Lord I have something I need to talk with you about. I haven't been the best person I can be lately, and it's really bugging me to be honest. I have had some troubles with my brother. We aren't getting along much lately. Its partially him and partially my lack of patience. I have been less than understanding with him lord and thats not cool. I need to be more respectful of him. I feel bad mostly, because until today I didn't really realize that he was having a rough time with his own problems. I know he doesn't need my crap on top of those problems, so lord help me be a better brother to him. I am supposed to love others as I love myself, but I haven't done that for him lately. Thanks lord.

Speak lord, your servant is listening.

Reflections on missed opportunities.

Well lord today I want to lift up a praise to you. I want to thank you for helping me with getting into Cedarville. I got my acceptance letter today!! That is very nice, but I do have a heavy heart tonight. I have been thinking about my friend Travis who died two years ago. I miss him very much. I can't help but pull out pictures and other memorable things from when we were friends. Travis and I grew up together. We were best friends ever since kindergarten and he would have been graduating with me this spring. I have pictures from birthday parties and from when we went to see WCW (wrestling) in Peoria when we were kids. I remember doing tons of things with him like going fishing and camping out at his grandparents. I miss all of the less than good things we did too like when I would go hang out with him when I was grounded from him or when we took the cans from the back of the VFW to get money to buy worms for fishing. I miss him a lot Lord. He was my best friend and I loved the time I had with him. I just regret one thing. I had him come to church with me a few times and he went on his own or with other friends too, but I feel like I should have told him about you lord. I didn't realize it until it was too late. I didn't think about it until I was carrying his casket with all of the other guys. It was rough looking at him laying there icy cold not knowing where he is now. I just wish I could find some comfort in that, but I cant. You say that any man who accepts your son as the one and only savior that we will have eternal life with you, but I don't know if Travis did that. That is why it is rough for me whenever I think about this. All I have is memories and dreams that someday I will get to see him again in heaven, but until then lord all I can say is I will thank you for showing me something through Travis. LIFE IS SHORT. I don't have time to mess around I need to live EVERY day for you. It makes me cry to this day thinking about what I should have told him, but I don't have to let it happen again. So lord work through me to spread your great word to everyone. Speak lord your servant is listening.

Self Doubt & Patience

Well God, I have good news and I have indifferent news. I'll start with the good news. I have been talking to some track coaches at Olivet Nazarene University and to a coach at Cedarville and it looks like I will be able to do track if I keep working hard. This is good, but I always have a problem. I keep telling myself that I am not good enough to do it. I really need to stop, Lord, because I do believe that you gave me athletic ability as a gift and I can use it as a tool to glorify you, but I just have trouble with my self-esteem. I just hope that you can keep helping me to realize that I am a special gift and I am good at stuff. The only other news I had today was that Rachel my girlfriend got into Cedarville and I want to stop and give you praise for that. I think it is a great school for her, I just hope that It is a good school for me too, because I really like it. I have been waiting on them to get news of my acceptance or rejection and I just hope that it is taking a while because they still had my old address. When they decided. So basically what I am asking for god is for a little patience on my part to hear back from them. Thanks god I think I'm pretty much done for the day here. I'll talk to you very soon. Love you, Mike.

Long Time No See

Well lord today is Friday and I feel kinda weird. I feel bad for not talking to you here for a while, but I don't think that's why I feel so weird. I just thought of something lord. Why do I have low self-esteem. Right now I am depressed for no good reason. It will pass I am sure, but I guess I have been feeling bad for a while about something. I don't take you seriously enough. It hit me this morning when I was praying at the FCA meeting. I said this "lord let more people my age take you seriously, because Christianity is a serious thing." I thought then about this. How much time do I spend in a day giving back to you? Unfortunately not enough. I feel bad, because I have been talking at FCA about how you should give more time and that people should do everything to glorify you and I myself am slacking off on that. A lot of people don't like religion because a lot of religious people are hypocrites. I feel like I fall into that category more than I should allow myself to. I struggle with sin and I keep away from you more than I should. Lord help me to correct those things in my life, because until I do that I will not grow and I will not be able to help those around me grow.
Lord I am sorry for being a lazy christian. Help me pick up the slack and to give more to you EVERY SINGLE DAY. For my family, my friends, the people that I evangelize to, for myself, but most importantly for you.

Achieving Greatness Through God's Plan

Today is Martin Luther King day, and I was thinking about something lord. It amazes me at the influence he has on millions of people even after his death. I was thinking about how great of a man he is and how it seems impossible to make that much out of my own life, but even though he may be so great I thought of someone even more influential, Jesus. Dr. King may be one of the greatest men of the 20th century, but Jesus on the other hand Jesus was the greatest man ever. It astounds me that so many people look up to Dr. K when there is something more we might want to look at reagarding his life. Mr. King did great things with his life, but people forget that he was a minister. I think if more people studied how your son lived, like Dr. King, achieving greatness wouldn't seem so hard to do. I believe that Marting Luther King Jr. made his mark by realizing that he had a special purpose in life set aside for him. He knew this and actively pursued getting closer to you and fulfilling his purpose with all of his ability. I hope that I can get closer to you lord so that I can get to know your plan for me lord, because I know you have something great for me. So please, speak lord, because I am your servant, and I am learning.

My Dad Completely Trumps Your Dad...... Because He is God

Today is day two of my journal on the john and it feels good to know that i am thinking of you more god. This morning Pastor Steve had a great sermon on parenting, and I couldn't help but think about how much I miss out on, since my dad isn't around. I do often think about how much better life would be if my dad spent time with me or if he was a part of my life, but it's all good like this. I can look around and see people who I wish my dad was like all I want, but he'll never come close to being the father that you are for me. I guess I just want to thank you lord for giving me life and for loving me all of the time. I think I am done here now lord, so until next time, adios.

Giving Time to God

Lord I realize that I should dedicate more time to you, even if it isn't that much. So I have decided that I will keep a "journal on the john." At least this way I can glorify you with EVERYTHING that i do, no matter how crappy it is. Pun intended.